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Ode To Arizona
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The Devil wanted a place on earth.
Sort of a summer home.
A place
to spend his vacation
Whenever he wanted to roam.
So he picked
out Arizona.
A place both wretched and rough.
Here the climate
was to his liking
And the cowboys were hardened and tough.
He
dried up the streams in the canyons
and ordered no rain to fall:
He
dried up the lakes in the valleys,
Then baked and scorched it all.
Then
over his barren desert
He transplanted shrubs from Hell.
The cactus,
thistle and prickly pear --
The climate suited them well.
Now,
the home was much to his liking.
But animal life, he had none:
So
he created crawling creatures
That all mankind would shun.
First
he made the rattlesnake.
With its forked poisonous tongue:
Taught
it to strike and rattle
And how to swallow its young.
Then
he made Scorpions and Lizards
And the ugly old Horned Toad.
He
placed spiders of every description
Under rocks by the side of the
road.
Then he ordered the sun to shine hotter.
Hotter and
hotter still.
Until even the cactus wilted
And the old Horned Toad
looked ill.
Then he gazed on his earthly kingdom.
As any creator
would:
He chuckled a little up his sleeve
And admitted that it
was good.
'Twas summer now and Satan lay
By a prickly pear
to rest.
The sweat rolled off his wearthy brow.
So he took off
his coat and vest.
"By Golly," he finally panted
"I did my
job too well.
I'm going back where I came from
Arizona is hotter
than Hell!"
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